Finding Happy in Hard

Hard is inevitable. Hard will tap on our shoulder and open doors we never wanted opened. And yet, God allows it. The hard, the grief, the sorrow. 

For me, hard has shown up in the loss of my mom far too young. It’s shown up in finances that squeezed my family tightly. Hard has come up in relationships, navigating hurt feelings and poor communication. And hard can be in the daily: busy schedules, parenting people with feelings and expectations and just competing with all the noise.

Learning to flex muscles that help us notice happy helps. One muscle that is growing within me is one that’s scary and hard. This muscle is harder for me to develop than a gratitude journal or a speaking words of life over others.

This muscle is one I call “leaning in rather than leaning out.” 

In the past, if conflict came up I would typically have told myself “get smaller” and conform more. I would lean out. Take the “easy” road. But I’ve learned that in the long run, that road would cause bitterness and anger. 

And that’s not God’s best for me.

Slowly I’m learning to lean into the hard, be open to learning and take full responsibility for my voice. 

In relationships “leaning in” has meant, leaning into hard conversations rather than avoiding them. I don’t mean using dynamite to defend myself. I mean sharing my whys and sharing what my best is in my current season.

This has led to richer relationships.

In social issues, it’s meant curating a spirit of curiosity. That outside of my core belief of knowing Jesus is the only way to Heaven, I still have a lot to learn about people’s journeys and perspectives.

This has led to a richer world.

In life’s disappoints, it’s meant that I hold the sadness and allow for tears, while at the same time remembering that God only has good things for me. And while what I am enduring may not feel good, I can trust God’s character over my circumstances.

This has led to a healthier emotional spirituality.

As humans, we will face hard. And when we do, we can choose to either lean in or lean out. What do you need to lean into this week? How can you be true to yourself while honoring people and the circumstances around you? 

I hope you try it.