I teach being obedient to God on the internet, on my blog and when I speak at churches. He has asked me to move into a season of quiet (which seems terrifying when you have your biggest event of the year coming up in November).
But His ways are not my ways.
Many of you don’t know that this past year my mom was diagnosed with a rare disease and truth be told; I have not allowed myself to process it. I am not much of a “feeler” and I’m extremely driven, task-oriented person, so I have been trying to just get through my life – while still producing content and material from an extremely dry well.
What God is reminding me is that He cares more about filling my well, than whether or not I produce “work” for Him.
For the past several months I have been weighted down by guilt hanging around me like thick chains. Many people have told me that they have never felt closer to the Lord in their broken times. They have spoken to me that their richest spiritual growth has come from their deepest sadness. So lately I’ve felt guilty that I’m not in a season of great growth, nor do I feel an exceptional nearness to God. In fact, it has been a fight to draw close. Leaning into God has felt more like a task and my brokenness simply seems overwhelming.
This past week, my husband and I went over to a home of two individuals we love and they listened to us and prayed over us. God hasn’t been that clear to me in a long time.
He told me several things:
He is merciful.
He is near.
And deep calls to deep. (Psalm 42:7)
As I reacted in immediate obedience, I’ve already realized how much social media and some other tasks where hanging over me. To be completely honest, they had become an addiction and I was relying on them for my worth. God doesn’t want this for us, friends. If you need to retreat, don’t be afraid to do it. In fact, He says cut off your right hand if it is causing you to sin. (Matthew 5:30)
This season (however long He takes with me) I will be focusing what it means for deep to call to deep. I will continue to speak (I would love to come to your mom’s group, church, etc), I will still be passionately pursuing Imperfectly Brave, I will still write as the Lord prompts – but only as He prompts. You can contact me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org at any time.
And if you don’t have your ticket yet for Imperfectly Brave, grab it today.