Imperfectly Brave sister, maybe you have forgotten? Maybe in the grocery lists and gymnastic classes and piles of homework and bills — maybe you just up and forgot how to dream. Or maybe you had a dream but at this point it seems far away (like that au natural hair we once had). Well, listen in close as my friend, Chrystan, shares a lesson that turns all things good. A lesson on pursuit. Because what was once could still be with our King Jesus.
Eleven years ago I shattered an important bone. I’m pretty sure most women have this bone, but I’m not a doctor so I’m not 100% sure. (However, I do watch Grey’s Anatomy weekly, so I think I’m fairly qualified.)
Anyway, I’m pretty sure this special “bone” that we have is right around the area of our hearts. The heart and this bone work well together–except when they don’t. You see, sometimes our own hearts get in the way of this very important bone. Now, I didn’t do well in Human Anatomy in college, so stay with me on this.
Eleven years ago, I shattered my very own “dream bone.” I know. It sounds excruciating, and I can tell you it was one of the most painful and longest healing injuries I have ever endured. I can assure you, if you have ever shattered a dream bone, you know full well what I am talking about.
You see, eleven years ago I had a baby. Before that baby, I was single, living on my own and ready to tell the people in my life I was moving to Nashville to pursue a career as a country singer. I had just about made up my mind when the news came in…and all things were shattered. The dreams I had for my life were no longer. I began to set my life on autopilot. Single moms don’t have the time or the luxury of pursuing dreams. There’s a baby now that needs provided for, and that’s just that.
So, for years my dream bone had been unset, unhealed, uncared for. So much so that I forgot how to dream. Instead, I began to pursue Jesus. Slowly, I began to heal.
Eleven years ago I was on a path to destruction. I was pursuing my own glory, my own goals, my own pleasure. Any dream God had for me, any path with light on it, I would have destroyed. It took about eight years for Him to right this in my life. You see, dear sister, pursuing God-given dreams and pursuing our own glory and desires are two totally different things with completely different outcomes. Yes, God has given me a great gift for singing, leading and speaking. He has created me to be a lyricist and made me a being of passion and creativity. These gifts, paired with the right motives and a heart in the pursuit of the glory of God, can do amazing things. Yet for years I took these gifts and altered them to be about my own glory.
Pursuing Him first led to the greatest adventure of my life.
Eleven years ago, God allowed me to break–to shatter from the inside out–so that one day I could tell you He showed me how to pursue Him using the dreams and gifts He had given me. This also allowed my shattered “dream bone” to mend around a heart that beats to His rhythm. For this I am so grateful. Pursuing God has been the best thing for my dreams; it has allowed Him to reveal a greater adventure than I ever could’ve imagined. An adventure that, in my own imperfect life, has led to brave revelation of a life lived to sing His praises.
I leave you with this: pursue the Lord first, and He will give you dreams that align with His. And those, sweet sister, are the dreams to pursue with your whole heart. Those are the ones worth fighting for.
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)